And so it begins
by XxCommanderShepardxX
Summary: Ermagherd ner fernferction... What will Shepard and her crew get into next? God only knows...


**A/N: My first one shot, it's a bit short and also a bit rough but I wrote it lightheartedly. I'd like to continue this particular "story" but it'll probably just be composed of one-shots that are all fairly short and humorous. **

**Anyway, all ME characters/story/ blah blah belong to Bioware, blah, blah, blah. **

* * *

"Oi, Urz…get _over_ here", Jane Shepard whispered, motioning for the speckled varren to retreat off and preferably away from her and her bondmate's bed. Urz simply looked at her, eyes full of pity, as he tucked his tail between his legs and laid down against Shepard's pillow.

"Ohhhh, don't you give me that look" she started, putting her hands on her hips as a mother would scolding a child, "You know as well as I do that if Liara catches you up there, she'll kill us both."

It wasn't until after the Reaper war that Shepard decided she held a soft spot for the little varren she had "adopted" while back on Tuchanka so many months before. Sure, he was ugly, and messy, and slobbered practically _everywhere_, but, he was also loyal and fiercely protective of his master.

After about six months spent lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to IV's and being hardly able to move for a good two weeks prior, she journeyed back the Krogan home world for a pain remedy, one concocted by Bakara to help ease her suffering as she recovered from her injuries. "If it can soothe a krogan with a massive hangover, it can soothe Commander Shepard", she had said. And the old shaman had been right, and with only a few slight aches and pains here and there, the Commander could successfully say she had almost fully healed.

She missed her crew, and the erroneous and highly dangerous yet excitingly-risky missions she was once assigned, and she was ready to get back in the saddle and continue her life of adventure. There was never rest for Commander Shepard and that was how she preferred it.

It could be said that the Reaper war brought about massive changes to the galaxy and systems Alliance. Home worlds were rebuilding, citizens were coping with loss and mental anguish, and each race of species was slowly starting to view the other as equals. In a war of organics and synthetic monsters, not much else was possible.

But for the Normandy and her crew, everything remained pretty much the same. Joker, though offered a chance at retirement and a hefty sum to boot, eagerly refused and continued to sit at the helm of his majestic ship and alongside his ever faithful EDI, whom survived the synthetic genocide to the amazement of her companions.

A tribute to Admiral Anderson was to be held in the coming months as a way to pay respect and honor to the man and father figure so many had known. Shepard had been asked to speak, naturally, she obliged.

Dr. Chakwas, too, remained onboard, claiming it would have been too hard to say goodbye to so many memories when she had a chance to continue making them; that, and leaving her crew, whom she came to see as her children, was not something she could ever do.

And as for the remainder of Shepard's motley crew, they also stayed. Retirement was too boring, and "normal life" was too easy. The taste of adventure was in each of their veins and not one of them was ready to give that up yet.

They all loyally remained on shore leave until their Commander was fit and able to rejoin them, not wanting to leap into the fray without her at their side. Many months had passed while she remained in care, taking refuge in her quarters under the watchful eye of Chakwas and her bondmate, whom had recently moved in to share her bed.

But, Shepard was a stubborn one. She never left her ship, hated to sleep, and was nearly convinced she could run a marathon, even in her present condition. The number of scowls and arm crossings she faced from the asari were limitless and the number of cheeky smiles she gave in return were too many to count.

Through rest and innumerous holovids to pass her boredom, Shepard slowly recovered and constantly being in her quarters gave her plenty of time to consider redecorating. Step one, she needed new pets.

* * *

She managed to keep Urz a secret, wanting to ship train him before she let him run loose. A compartment about the equivalent to a cat's litter box was housed in the corner and his "messes" were deported through the back and out the airlock. None, save for Liara, even knew he was aboard…yet.

And though Urz had a bed, i.e, the sofa, he, like his master was extremely headstrong. This was the third time today Shepard had to pry him from her pillow.

"We are not having this discussion", she continued, "I'm not waking up to you slobbering in my face again."

"Mmmmmm…mmm…mm mm" he whined.

"Nuh uh, not gonna happen. Look at that couch" she said enthusiastically, pointing in its direction, "That couch is hella comfortable."

Urz gave her a look that said "Then _you _sleep on it."

"Oh come on, that couch is better than anything you could find on Tuchanka. Besides, do you _really_ want Liara to throw you off again?" she asked carefully.

Urz's eyes widened, remembering the last time the asari had caught him in her spot. Needless to say, Urz quickly found out she was a biotic and was sent hurtling through the air to land roughly on his sofa.

At the mention of her name, he bounded from the bed and returned to the couch, grumbling in the process but not wanting another headache.

"That's a good boy" she cooed, patting him on the head and slumping down beside him.

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to _do_ something" she scratched his ears, "I swear I'm getting cabin fever" she mumbled.

Urz licked her hand and laid his head on her knee.

"Wonder how the rest of the crew is gonna take to you" she smirked, "I'd pay to see Tali's reaction."

[_Commander, Lieutenant Vega wishes to drop in. Says he has some things he'd like to discuss with you.]_

"Mmm, sure, send him on up, Joker."

"Aye, Commander."

Ten minutes later, her door _whooshed_ open and in stepped James Vega, just as burly, tan, and tattooed as ever.

"Ayyyy, Lola" he greeted, hands in the air as he strode towards her. "Felt like forever since I've seen you-_whaaat_ the hell is that?" he stopped short, taking a step back as he noticed the varren perched lazily on the couch. Urz merely raised his head, yawned, and then laid it back down on his master's knee.

"Ah, _that_ would be a varren, James" Shepard shrugged, patting the little creature lightly on his head.

"I, uh, I can see that. Why is it on the Normandy?"

"I met this little guy awhile back when I was doing recruitment. I dunno, I guess he reminded me of a dog I once had."

"Kinda…ugly for a dog, isn't he?"

Urz raised his head and growled.

"No, no, he didn't mean that" Shepard soothed, "Be a little sensitive, won't ya?" she griped at the lieutenant.

"Kinda…not horrendously ugly, yet slightly less attractive than a dog…isn't he?" he said slowly.

"Better" she nodded.

James leaned against the stairwell and crossed his arms.

"Wouldn't a, I dunno, a _hamster_ be a little more sufficient?"

"I had a hamster till that bastard clone of mine came aboard and got rid of him" she answered, clenching her fist and banging it on the sofa's arm. "Poor little guy went for the eyes and she threw him out the airlock. Bitch got rid of my fish too…I took that _very_ personally."

"Soooo, you can't get a _new_ hamster or_ new_ fish?"

"One does not simply 'get' a new hamster, James. And as for the fish…I'm workin' on it" she said with a wave of her hand.

"I suppose she got rid of your stack of Azure magazines too?" he asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

"We don't talk about that, I still haven't gotten over it."

"Dammit, I was hoping to borrow one of those."

Shepard eyed him incredulously.

"What?" he shrugged, "Beats paying outta pocket for em' on Omega."

Jane shook her head, pinching her nose in the process.

"Joker said you had something you wanted to discuss with me?" she asked, quickly wanting to change the subject.

"Oh, yeah" he sighed, shifting position against the railing. "When, uh, do you think you'll be field bound again?"

"Hell, if I had my way, right now."

"Heh, that's what I was hoping you'd say. Was starting to worry whether you'd change your mind being stuck in here all day, every day."

"Nahhh, I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet. Still a lot of idiots out there to take care of."

"Reason I ask is that Admiral Hackett has been checking in every now and then, seeing how the crew is coping and all that; didn't wanna disturb you while you were recovering, but I think he's ready for you to do some work."

"Excellent" she grinned, rubbing her hands together.

"At any rate, said for you to get a physical and once he gets the lab results in, go meet him in the debriefing room."

"Simple enough."

"Yep" James replied, striding back up the stairwell and towards the door. "That's all I wanted to tell you, Commander."

"Thanks, Vega. I appreciate it."

"Anytime, Lola. You and your 'not ugly dog' have a nice day" he grinned, tipping an invisible hat and exiting her cabin.

Shepard looked down at the varren, whom was still resting on her knee and now beginning to quietly snore.

"Well, if you didn't attack James, I doubt you'll go after anyone else" she whispered with a shrug, "Hell, my hamster didn't even like him. And in the meantime…looks like _I'm_ going on a mission."


End file.
